Top Ten Reasons to Skate Ottawa

10

Red state skaters

Learn firsthand why Ottawa, the capital of a country that provides universal health care (and other socialist abominations!), makes Fox New's Glenn Beck froth at the mouth.

9

Blue state skaters

Celebrate the city that gives right-wing bloviator Glenn Beck indigestion.

8

Sweetness

September in Ottawa ranges from sweltering to freezing. But conditions look perfect for Sunday: sunny and 73 degrees (F).

7

Histor-i-fication

Visit the Museum of Civilization (across the river from Parliament Hill) and stroll through 20,000 years of Canadian history.

6

The U.S. advantage

Given Canada's socialized medicine, U.S. skaters probably won't face much competition. The Canadians will all be waiting in line for routine medical procedures, attending mandatory death panels, or — and this is probably most likely (at least, according to Glenn Beck) — dead.

5

Skateaway

Roll along more than 170 kilometers of paved multi-use trails that skirt the rivers, the Rideau Canal and pretty much everything in between.

4

Sky-tacular

Check out the Gatineau Hot Air Balloon Festival, which shares the weekend. You'll get an eyeful of sky-candy as hundreds of colorful balloons glide through the air.

3

Hang cool

You'll look so elegant alongside the tables at Casino du Lac-Leamy in nearby Quebec. ... So what if you drop a few bills.

2

Get a quick feel for Canada without getting slapped

Experience the Canadian soul with a tour of the National Gallery of Canada.

1

Infiltrate a socialist hotbed!

Tour Canada's Parliament, a spectacular Gothic Revival building on Parliament Hill. Just don't say you're American. They'll ship you to a gulag in Winnipeg.

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